The Worst Old Appliance You Drove

[Messyshaw]

As an antidote to Keith's cheesy 'Favourite Old Fire Appliance thread, how about listing what was in your opinion, the worst appliance you have ever aimed?

[Steve]

The dog$h1te Locomotors Renault/Dodge at Shadwell. One of the earliest of the 87 'D' reg fleet... the firts LFB had with sirens instead of two tones. They were all rough, but that one (which incidentally survived into preservation) went 35mph flat out. The disgrace was, it was only 5 years old at the time I did a stint there in 1992. The steering only worked if you put revs on and trying to turn in those tight East End back streets was arm blasting work... put a bit of revs on and you'd be up the kerb or headed for a parked car.

The dog!!!

[Firestorm]

Another Dodge, DPL 866. Always broken, always leaking either air or water or both. Turn the wheel on a shout but nothing happened, though the seat belt would lock as you tried to get purchase on the huge steering wheel.

Shouts in the middle of the night meant that you sat and revved the poop out of the dog until the air tanks filled up to release the brakes.

[LiamG]

Lancashire used to have DAF 55 appliances. I think the 55 was reference to it's top speed and the amount of time in minutes it took to reach it.

[Messyshaw]

I agree with Steve that the early LFB Dodge pumps were very bad

In addition to poor visibility (albeit it not as bad as the awful ERF pumps) the speedo didnt disengage when the PTO was operated. The result was you could attend a rubbish fire 1mile from the station but clock up 50 miles pumping!

Second prize goes to the Dennis 101. This is the one with single wheels as the rear and the most unforgiving crash gearbox invented by man (plus, like the 106 & 108 - no power steering). I drove a 101 for three days when on a driving course. It was hell. Hats off to those who drove these on the bell!

[Steve]

Had a quick drive of a '101 that is preserved a few years ago down in Kent. I have to agree, it was a brutalising experience that left me feeling very inadequate as a Fire service driver.

[Messyshaw]

3 hours ago, Steve said:

Had a quick drive of a '101 that is preserved a few years ago down in Kent. I have to agree, it was a brutalising experience that left me feeling very inadequate as a Fire service driver.

Is this it? 

 

[Kinmel]

It has to be the Thornycroft Nubian Type A Water Tender.

Forward control with a very high driving position meant you could see none of the bodywork, with a crash gearbox and all round drum brakes.

Low ratio gears, even in 2 wheel drive, gave slow acceleration and the small steering wheel gave no leverage when turning the huge front wheels.

Cross country, the low cab headroom provided more joy.

[Keith]

We've had quite a few rubbish ones, worst one I can think of though wasn't actually that bad to drive but as a fire engine it was terrible. After the Dennis's we "experimented" with quite a few different variations of Volvo's, or alternatively Volvo found some mug to off load their discontinued stock on.

This one was a FL6 with a supercharger that went extremely well when you pressed the load pedal and you could get the back to step out like a MkII Ford Escort, however the crew cab and body work had been designed for another model so it was bodged together with a few fibre glass panels and isopon. The engineering was shocking, when you put it into PTO and went round to the pump, it sounded like you had thrown a box of bolts into a washing machine on a full spin cycle. It was in and out of the workshops that much, I think they had a preprogrammed button on the maintenance records for it when anyone phoned in with a defect.

[Steve]

8 hours ago, Messyshaw said:

Is this it?

Yes mate... Homerton's old PE.

[Cashybai]

s41tbox dodges, kin horrendous vehicle, Belsize had an Y plate ss when I started there in 91, soon ended up with a shiny new Volvo, but we'd get one of those cacky dodges whenever the Volvo went in for service. Understeered, underpowered, top heavy, hateful pile of poop

[Messyshaw]

I drove a Dodge truck when part-timing. Fully of bicycles, I set off for the South Circular Road and was going through Kew very slowly (as normal) when the brakes failed. I was helpless as the lorry rolled slowly over a zebra cross at 5mph. An old boy on the crossing turned as I sounded the horn and ended up with his hands of the front of the cab walking slowly backwards as I pushed him down the road 20+ metres. I was petrified, but not perhaps as much as that old boy. What a pile of crap.

Two weeks later, en route to a hospital aka, I was in the OIC seat of a LFB Dodge PL when the brakes failed turning right onto a large dual carriageway (A40). The driver again was helpless as we overshot, mounted the pavement, demolished some pedestrian railings and wrote off my favourite underpants. Bizarrely, the brakes started working again soon after. LFB mechanics couldn't find any issues and management said we were lying...... until it happened again

Dodge by name, dodgy by nature

[Noddy]

I never drove, one of my small regrets in the job. 

[TandA]

I don't drive but I preferred sitting in the OiCs seat of anything with Dennis on the front.  Modern Scanias are built as lorries and it shows!  Some wallow so much its like being in a boat on heavy seas.

[Dan J]

Not a driver, but as a user, definitely the Mk1 rapier for me. I hated it. Lockers too small, couldn't reach the ladders, couldn't attach hard suction and the best moments included the gearbox dropping out onto the road one day whilst pumping.