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On Station Pranks!


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Usually when the newest recruit gets a new (or new to them) car we grab a random bit of plastic or metal gubbins from the engine bay of a yet to be cut up car and place it so it drops out on to their feet as they start driving away in their shiny pride and joy.

As we all stand about scratching our heads as to what the problem might be and coming up with the most outrages suggestions it soon dawns on the brighter recruits what's going on.

Of course, the old exhaust whistle prank can certainly be dragged out for a number of weeks. :D

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  • 2 weeks later...

I’m sat here in the mess hall, having just been soaked on the 5th floor of a drill tower from a ground monitor fed by twin 70mm! Reading through these has made me chuckle and given some ideas for my little pay back!!

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Derek from my watch planned a particularly well planned `hit` on a youngster who had been gobbing off a bit much during drills. There was a main jet fed by a featherweight (who the hell called them THAT!) and he got 5 bars as he left the building and walked into the drill yard. Cool and calm as a cucumber he merely turned slowly around and even raised his arms at one point to ensure he was drenched all over. When Derek - in fits of giggles -  had had his fun he told him he could go and get changed. The soaked young lad calmly yelled up, "Where shall I put your uniform Derek?" (He had heard about this and simply dressed in Derek's uniform).

  • Haha 6
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One of ours got a new Ford Tourneo connect recently. Nice motor but in charcoal grey and with tinted windows all round It couldn't help remind me of something.....

It's been nearly 48 hours so far and as yet he hasn't noticed the magnetic "private ambulance" plate on the back....

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Its probably best to keep wives away from station pranks. After all, we all know women have not got such a developed sense of humour. Two examples;.....

1) After a drunken stag night, the future groom was attacked and given a huge love bite by animal member of the watch. Er, it wasn't on his neck but on his inner thigh. It seemed like harmless fun after a few beers! The animal and a contingent from the watch ended up driving 70miles to see the bride to be who had a sense of humour failure and ended up threatening to cancel the wedding?

2) Another guy mentioned his wife had recently started taking the pill. God knows why (alcohol again I suggest), a couple of guys hid a condom behind the sun visor on the drivers side of the car. The firefighter subsequently was driving, pulled down the visor and the condom fell into his lap. His wife sitting alongside him took his shocked expression as guilt and wanted to know what/who he intended to do with the condom. Another bunch of grovelling idiotic firemen had to go apologising and trying to explain another poor joke!

Like I say, no sense of humour ???

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  • 2 months later...

First night watch for new recruits is usually spent up the tower with a radio on fire watch and calling controles on the hour to report everything ok. 

In norn iron in the troubles on first duty a recruit was handed a shot gun and told he was tail gunner on the pump escape and in a riot he had to shoot back at anyone throwing bricks at us. 

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An old one was when a probationer landed on station, on their first night a couple of the old hands would come up to said probationer and tell him the ADO ( can you tell how old this is? ) was doing a survey on reaction times and he would be tested on how quickly he could get out of bed if the bells went down. So after supper he’d set up his bed, get in and pretend to go to sleep ( couldnt go to bed before midnight back then ), door shut and lights off

Said old hands would go into the Station Officers office, tell him the probationer had already gone to bed and stand back to let the fireworks fly

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  • 3 months later...

Imagine coming in for your first day of a tour (220 miles from home) after 3 sets off to find your locker, clothes and contents had been sprayed with tuna tin juice pretty much every day whilst you were off knowing just how much the person hated it and didn’t have anything else to wear. The clean up took days, much to the amusement of the guilty watch.

But ye who laughs last laughs the longest!

Imagine then their faces when on his next set off he sent them all an MMS of their toothbrushes - well the handles of them, the heads were ‘not visible’ as they were somewhere the sun didn’t shine out of.

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23 hours ago, Percy said:

Imagine coming in for your first day of a tour (220 miles from home) after 3 sets off to find your locker, clothes and contents had been sprayed with tuna tin juice pretty much every day whilst you were off knowing just how much the person hated it and didn’t have anything else to wear. The clean up took days, much to the amusement of the guilty watch.

But ye who laughs last laughs the longest!

Imagine then their faces when on his next set off he sent them all an MMS of their toothbrushes - well the handles of them, the heads were ‘not visible’ as they were somewhere the sun didn’t shine out of.

Alas {or maybe not}, I fear that if that sort of thing got out now, folks would be down the road, worse I know of was a lad coming back from a 6 month tour of the falklands to find his Mates had opened the window to his room in the block dropped a log in his en suite and left it there the day he flew out

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  • 2 months later...

From a nuclear facility. On arrival the new recruit was often asked to take a fertility test to ensure that they had a baseline to ensure that any radioactive incident hadn't affected them. They were provided with a letter on headed note paper and a sample cup and asked to supply their sample to the OIC at the next role call... Much to the amusement of all involved.

On occasions, they were instructed to take the sample to various different departments around the facility. Each Dept passing them on to the next….

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  • 10 months later...
  • 1 month later...
On 04/12/2017 at 17:59, Cardiff_Fire said:

Currently our WM is having the sweetners in his tea increased by 1 a tour. We've just hit 8 and not a word.

Obviously has no taste buds for sweet stuff..... sounds awful. Genius idea.

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  • 11 months later...

Just seen this and thought I would add one I learned in the army, good one when having a brew,  rim your finger around your arsehole slightly and then when you lift your mug with that finger around the top ask somebody if “this brew smells funny?” Once they sniff and usually say something along the lines of “what the fuck” Then carry on drinking it. 

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  • 7 months later...

The mobile mechanic has arrived at the station to work in the cab of the ALP.  The machine was taken OTR for the morning and he set to work removing the dashboard. Then it was time to join the crews for the traditional tea and toast break in the mess.  He left the appliance with the dash hang down with all the wiring exposed.   He was just starting to spread butter on the toast when one of the guys came in and asked him if he was doing something in the cab of the ALP  He replied Yes so was told he had better go back down quickly.  We all followed him and saw smoke billowing out from the cab in all directions.   He was just about to attack the battery leads with a pair of bolt croppers when someone switched off the smoke generator and removed it from the cab !   The air was as blue as it had been grey with the smoke.....one of the funniest wind ups I had seen in my career 

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  • 1 month later...

We had a bloke so 'Nails' he'd just step into the shower and turn it on, no waiting for it to run warm till the day it had been brimmed to the head with cas fake blood, you could hear his screams in the bays.

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We had a guy who constantly helped himself to toiletries from people's lockers - then would not return them. Time after time he would get a rollicking 

One day he found all but one locker secure and the open one just had a bottle of Head and Shoulders in it......... this bottle was very special 😉

It had a liberal amount of blue food colouring added to it. I thought he would guess something was wrong as it was very runny

But no- as we waited outside the shower room we heard him panic and swear.......... and in an instant,  a new nickname was born

I would like to say 'Smurf' never took stuff out of lockers again.. sadly not as he was a bloody nuisance 👍

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  • 11 months later...

For some years after I joined the LFB, hose was canvas and had to be fully drained and partially dried on hose 'whips' that ran up the side of the drill tower, over a pulley, then back down to ground floor level where they were made fast to hefty wooden cleats. There were two 'legs' spliced into the lines to hold a wooden dolly, over with the hose was placed.

Any new young firemen (no women and not firefighters back then) would be challenged to put a leg over the dolly and haul themselves aloft by pulling on the other part of the whip. All pretty easy to do until you're at first floor level - or sometimes higher - and some bright spark ties off both parts of the line you're using to the cleats below you. Then, once that had happened, the bells would mysteriously go down and the new guy would be siezed by a state of panic as he tried to untangle himself from his predicament to get to the appliance bays.

Not the very best of japes, for sure, and injuries were not totally unknown, even if they were usually only minor, but we were easily amused and there was usually plenty of time to indulge in other silliness.

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